10 years ago I lost someone who changed my life. Not just in her death, in her short life. She is the reason I found acting, the reason I had the courage as a super shy, not confident 15 year old  girl to get on stage the first time and recite a monologue into a mostly empty theatre. She is the reason, even without any support of my teacher I didnt give up. She is the reason I now, as a grown woman can perform professionally in sold out theatres and get cast in parts I never could have dreamed of.

I know that I will never understand why she is gone. Why she felt suicide was her only option. How she could physically do it.

It sounds cliche, but kids killing themselves is an epidemic. It’s just getting worse. I wish she had all the resources young kids have now, all the people to talk to. I wish she had called me. I wish I had known. I wish.

I, like so many people who knew Marisa are forever changed. I wish she had known that. Had thought about all the things that would change for her over the next 10 years.

I just hope she is proud of me, I hope she can feel everytime I’m onstage.

I know she is my AnGeL*

*She’s that star up in the sky….

Marisa Anne Angel Busterna

2/1/83~12/9/01

You will always be in my heart, Maris.

#itgetsbetter